The Author of the Journals

User Name/Nick: Juniper
User DW: N/A
AIM/IM: ricinbeens
E-mail: iamthejunipertree at gmail
Other Characters: Nina Sergeevna Krilova, Jesse Pinkman

Character Name: Dr. Stanford "Ford" Filbrick Pines, AKA "The Author"
Series: Gravity Falls
Age: Early sixties, give or take a bit; it's possible that he's a little younger than his twin due to all the interdimensional travel.
From When?: From the end of episode 2x11, "Not What He Seems," when Stan pulls him through the portal. Obviously, he winds up on the Barge instead.

Inmate/Warden: Inmate. Ford isn't an evil-minded or malicious person, but he's also not a good person. At all. His arrogance, borderline megalomania, willful obliviousness, and thirst for "knowledge" (i.e. power and fame) directly led to most of the worst events in the series: Bill Cipher's existence in modern-day Gravity Falls, his former assistant's descent into insanity (and, less directly, the creation of the memory-wiping Society of the Blind Eye), and the creation of the portal that nearly ends the world soon after his canon point. Plus, a lot of other dumb shit is his fault, like carelessly leaving incredibly dangerous spells and creatures essentially lying around for people (who often turn out to be children) to find. He wants to be a great man! But... he's not. And he doesn't really get what a great man is.

Arrival: Ford is here very much against his will and will be very put out when he realizes he really can't leave again.

Abilities/Powers: Ford is kind of the most badass badass-normal old dude ever. Despite being technically human, he's essentially spent most of his adult life constantly upgrading himself, including at least one surgical implant. I'm happy to work with y'all to curtail anything too OP. If he starts to seem like a Gary Stu, skip ahead to the personality section.

At his own baseline, Ford is a genius with 12 PhDs, at least 13 languages, and a lot of experience roughing it in any number of environments and fighting against all sorts of weird creatures (including a talking chair). He's tough as nails. He literally burns his stubble off because he claims it's faster than shaving. Physically speaking, he's basically the ideal of the grizzled Adventure Hero, modeled heavily on Doc Savage. Also, if you let him into the lab, he will invent something completely wild in under ten minutes.

He also has six working fingers on each hand, which gives him no extra ability (other than making him a killer pianist), but is very important to him.

In addition to all of that, Ford has:

-A metal plate in his head which prevents most forms of mental attack (including telepathy, memory manipulation, and involuntary possession), though not dream invasion (I would like him to keep this, since it's embedded in his skull)

-A quantum destabilizer powerful enough to one-shot-kill Bill Cipher (he will lose this and throw a massive tantrum)

-A high-powered magnet gun (he will lose this but may build another one quickly if given lab access)

-A pair of electroshock gloves (ditto)

-A wrist computer that includes a multidimensional translator and an unknown set of other basic functions -- he uses it at one point to remote-unlock his study door and at another to play a hologram (it's all harmless stuff, I'd like him to keep it)

-An infinity-sided die which creates virtually any consequence at random when rolled -- "Our faces could melt into jelly. The world could turn into an egg! Or, you could just roll an eight. Who knows?" (he will not have this for obvious reasons, but I think it has a ridiculous amount of potential for future bargewide plots if it ever comes back, js)

-An "electron carpet" in his room that causes mindswaps when charged with static electricity (please let him keep this, it's amazing)

Also: Ford never does magic onscreen, but it's heavily, heavily implied that he can. That said, the spells we see in canon all seem to be ones that anyone can do, of the "chant in Latin, draw in chalk, light a candle" variety. A ten-year-old can do them, literally. I'm okay with saying he can't do any magic that requires innate ability, though, or at least nerfing it so he can't.

This is more nebulous, but semi-canon projects (a website, some promos for the series, all signed off on by the showrunner) have hinted that Ford has some kind of ability to send messages between dimensions, possibly by encoding and transmitting his thoughts via computer. While the "encoding his thoughts" thing is an actual canon invention of his, I'm not going to let him poke holes in other dimensions or the 4th Wall, but it's maybe another potential plot hook for the future.

Personality: And now the other shoe drops. I feel the need to state up front that Ford really does have good qualities, because I'm about to talk a lot of shit. There is good there! He's obviously brilliant and also very creative, both as an actual artist and with his inventions. He can be very charismatic, mostly to people who don't know him that well. A witch describes him as a thorned rose and that's pretty accurate. He somewhat knows how to show people the rose and not the thorns. He has a quick wit (with certain glaring exceptions) and way too much vitality and energy for a sixty-year-old man. He loves games and puzzles and roleplaying and everything weird and nerdy and he truly enjoys talking to fellow weirdos and nerds. He brings genuine enthusiasm to whatever catches his interest.

Ford is also very brave. He has enough willpower (with certain glaring exceptions) that he's learned to control his own heartbeat. He'll jump off a cliff or into a spaceship for Science. He jumps onto a flying monster's back to save his best friend (even if it's from something he got him into in the first place). His work ethic is incredibly strong. When faced with a problem, he'll easily stay up all night with it. Or why not two nights? Why not four? When he gets stuck in the multiverse, he remains committed to his mission for 30 years.

And... that's mostly it for the good stuff. Ford thinks he has many more redeeming qualities, but he really kind of doesn't. He's egotistical beyond all measure while also managing to be deeply insecure; he still has yet to let go of the way he was bullied for his deformity and has spent far too much of his adult life thinking about how he's better off without all those normal people around. Except that even around people more like him, he's still conceited as hell. He genuinely likes F, maybe even loves him, but he still has to knock him down in his own mind by mocking his quirky behavior and anxious tics.

Ford's biggest problem is that he doesn't really connect with other people or consider how his actions might cause harm. He tells his great-nephew that his sister will be "fine" if he leaves her behind, even though the idea clearly devastates her. F will be "fine" if he just learns to meditate his anxiety away. Stan will be "fine" on his own. He connects most with F and Dipper, but he's still shamelessly reckless with both of them, physically and emotionally. He's not even really all that touch with his own emotions. He plays the blame game like it's going out of style. Even if he admits to a mistake, even if he feels bad, there's always a "reasonable" excuse, or else it's really someone else's fault. He holds grudges for decades on end. He hears what he wants to hear; he believes what he wants to believe.

He is aware that he doesn't connect well with people. He'll say it's because he doesn't want to. Before the portal, he doesn't trust anyone at all. I do think he trusts Jheselbraum now, but only her. He keeps secrets even when he really, really shouldn't. He doesn't ask for help even when he really, really should. He's too set apart. Too different. Funnily enough, he's also quite vain; he literally poses when there's a good opportunity for it. On the other hand, he's a little clueless when it comes to how certain things look. He doesn't seem to get why it's weird that he has pictures of Sagan and Tesla where F has pictures of his family. Tesla "keeps him grounded" just like F's wife and son, what's strange about that? He gets a few of those moments. I'm also not sure he gets why his former Bill shrine is unbelievably creepy.

Which brings us to Bill. It's easy to see how Bill played Ford like a fiddle: all it took was a little flattery here and there, some ego-stroking, some grand visions of the future. Bill told Ford that he was destined for greatness, but could only get there with Bill's help. Of course, thought Ford. Obviously, when he learns the truth, it's absolutely devastating. Unfortunately, while he's not incapable of guilt or remorse -- he honestly feels terrible about ignoring F's warnings and the very obvious signs -- he's also not very good at learning from his mistakes. He still doesn't listen or communicate, still keeps secrets, and still puts his ego before everything else.

Really, I can condense all of this into one anecdote: Ford was brave enough to go into the deepest caves, smart enough to translate a prophecy about defeating Bill, strong enough to hold it in his mind for over 30 years... and stupid enough to dismiss it because he "couldn't believe that saving the world involved so much getting along with others." Ford Pines, folks.

Barge Reactions: When it comes to encountering Weird Shit on the Barge, Ford will not so much as bat an eye. He hasn't been to his own Earth in 30 years; Weird Shit is his normal now. What will get him very upset is the loss of his quantum destabilizer (which, to be fair, took him most of those 30 years to build) and the fact that he can't leave, because he's no longer used to being stuck in any given world. He will also, of course, be very upset about the presence of Bill Cipher, and to a lesser degree also annoyed that his brother is on board (and wardening, no less). He'll have absolutely no idea what Stan's deal is and will not be able to figure it out for himself at all, because he's an idiot.

Path to Redemption: Ford's canon redemption is basically him sucking it up and putting his own selfish, egotistical bullshit aside, and I think that's going to be the same on the Barge. He needs to get it through his metal skull that not everything is about him, that he can't do everything by himself, and that he has to listen to and cooperate with other people instead of just ignoring and/or condescending to them. He has to learn that other people's feelings actually do matter. To some extent he even has to learn that his own feelings matter, once he discovers some other than pride and wounded pride. He has to learn that sometimes he just might not be the best person in the room -- and that's honestly okay.

History: IHNI why I like writing these out, but enjoy. Stanford "Ford" Filbrick Pines was born sometime in the 1950s in Glass Shard Beach, a crappy little town on the Jersey Shore. From the beginning, he was inseparable from his twin brother Stanley (their father didn't have much imagination). Ford was a wimpy, nerdy kid, constantly picked on for having six fingers on each hand. When they were very young Stan also took his fair share of abuse, but he grew to become the tougher of the two. Ford, however, was the one who ended up leapfrogging his brother, earning prize after prize for his immense IQ and academic talents. He let Stan cheat off him and copy his homework, but the difference was still stark.

During senior year of high school, Ford invented a working perpetual motion machine. The principal told Ford that recruiters from the extremely prestigious Stanford West Coast Tech would be coming to see the project, and that he had a very high chance of getting a full ride to WCT and making millions as a scientist. However, he would have to leave his brother behind in New Jersey. It was a hard choice, but Ford resolved to accept the offer if it was made. Unfortunately, when he unveiled the machine, he found out that it had been broken overnight. Rejected, humiliated, and furious, he confronted Stan over his obvious sabotage. Their father overheard them and kicked Stan out, incensed over the potential financial loss his actions had cost the family. Ford didn't stop him.

Rather than risk another humiliation at WCT or another prestigious school, Ford enrolled at the aptly-named Backupsmore University, where he was able to be a very big fish in a very small academic pond. With his intellect and work ethic he shot through school like a rocket, racking up achievement after achievement and somehow, don't ask, getting six PhDs in the process. He eventually won a large grant to fund basically whatever he wanted. Because of his polydactyly, Ford had been obsessed with the supernatural, extraterrestrial, paranormal, and just plain weird since he was a child, and he had discovered that no place on Earth had as many stories as Gravity Falls, Oregon. He went to Gravity Falls, set up in a house in the middle of the woods, and got to work trying to find some kind of Grand Unified Theory that would explain all the weirdness.

Six years in, Ford was no closer to an answer, and he was incredibly frustrated with his lack of progress when he came across a cave painting that spoke of a being with answers. The painting warned the reader against trying to summon it, but a desperate Ford read the incantation -- and brought Bill Cipher back to Earth. Bill told Ford that he was a muse and had come to Ford to help him along the path to greatness; that this was how genius happened. Utterly blinded by his flattery and trickery, Ford allowed Bill free access to his mind, letting Bill possess him whenever he liked and talking to him for hours on end in the mindscape. Bill told Ford he needed images to stay connected to his world; Ford turned his secret study (and parts of his actual house) into a Cipher shrine.

Bill told Ford that the only way to complete his research would be to build a gateway between worlds. Ford bought this wholeheartedly and immediately set to work, recruiting his college friend Fiddleford McGucket to help. However, he soon became frustrated by "F" (as he called him in his journals). Although absolutely brilliant, F didn't have much stomach for the weird and often violent encounters that came with researching in Gravity Falls, and soon developed terrible anxiety. Having become very physically fit since leaving school, Ford encouraged F to, basically, suck it up and get some exercise, maybe do some meditation. F still kept getting into trouble (mostly because of Ford) and eventually invented a memory-wiping gun to clear his terrible memories. Horrified, Ford insisted he get rid of the thing, but the journals imply that F may have zapped him once or twice. Wouldn't you?

F begged Ford not to finish the portal; to let the dream of the Grand Unified Theory go and settle for the already-enormous fame and fortune he would get from publishing his findings. Unable to abandon the culmination of his life's work -- horrified that F would even suggest it -- Ford pushed ahead. During the first test, F was accidentally sucked partway through the portal. When Ford got him back, he was catatonic and speaking in reversed ciphers; as soon as he came back to himself he quit and stormed off.* Even then Ford tried to ignore the warning signs, until Bill himself admitted the truth: the whole thing was a massive con and Bill had gotten the portal made so he and his friends could take over Earth.

(*F would go on to create the Society of the Blind Eye, a cult which used the memory guns to wipe the memories of Gravity Falls residents so that they wouldn't be traumatized by the crazy things they'd seen. Using the memory gun on himself again and again, F quickly drove himself insane. Ford has no idea about this.)

Horrified, Ford shut down the portal, but couldn't bring himself to outright destroy his life's work. Meanwhile, Bill still had access to his mind and would take over whenever Ford fell asleep, although Ford was able to encrypt his memories of the portal to keep Bill from reactivating it. Ford descended into wild, unchecked paranoia. He buried two of the journals containing his research in Gravity Falls. The third, which contained the most dangerous stuff, he needed far gone. The most well-traveled person he could think of -- and the only person he could trust -- was Stan, so he sent a postcard begging him to come. By the time Stan arrived in Oregon, Ford was a rambling mess, unable to coherently explain the situation. All he could say was that he needed Stan to take the book and leave again immediately. They had dreamed of sailing around the world together as kids; now, he told Stan to build a boat, get on it, and take the journal with him. Hurt, Stan threatened to burn the book instead, and the two started to fight. They accidentally switched the portal on during the fight, and then Stan gave Ford one good, hard shove--

--and Ford was sucked into the multiverse, never to set foot on Earth again (in this version of the story).

His entry point was the Nightmare Realm, Bill's universe, where Bill immediately tried to kill him. Ford escaped and began his bizarre 30-year journey across the multiverse, living hundreds of lives in hundreds of dimensions. We don't get a lot of info about what went down out there, but we do know that he visited Flatland, got embarrassing tattoos with a tribe of octopus-pig-men, and got an anti-Bill metal plate implanted in his skull by a benevolent seven-eyed woman named Jheselbraum. He may or may not have had a girlfriend (or possibly even a "girlfriend" -- he's slightly ambiguous in a "we still work for Disney" kind of way) in the Do-Over Dimension. He had a mabsolutely merrible mime in the M Dimension. He visited an AU of his Earth in which he and F had Nobel Prizes and a massive research lab of their own, although he never met his AU self -- too dangerous! He got another six PhDs somewhere in there. He got drunk a lot.

He also racked up a major criminal record. He ended up on the wanted list in several dimensions, largely for theft and related crimes, because he never forgot his true goal: getting rid of Bill Cipher. To that end, he stole parts to build a quantum destabilizer, which the AU!F finally helped him complete after 30 long years. Weapon in hand, Ford returned to the Nightmare Realm to confront Bill. He tracked him down, got ready to shoot...

...and Stan opened the portal in Gravity Falls, pulling Ford back to Earth. Or, in this case, the Barge.

Sample Journal Entry:

Here!

Sample RP:

Here!

Special Notes: Exciting fact! Stan and Ford would be (as far as we collectively could remember, anyway) TLV's second pair of siblings and first pair of twins to be on opposite sides of the fence.